Thursday, January 29, 2009
My life with Jesus
I'd like to say it began sometime around the age of six or seven years. Around that age I was able to finally grasp a hold of some of the complexities surrounding why I was waking up early on Sunday mornings and why we as a family would pray before every meal. But the true “Follower of Christ” mentality didn’t start until I reached the age of thirteen. At that point I had made a decision with myself to follow his example with all of my heart and soul. Following Him was the only thing that made sense at the time, more than acquiring the riches of Earth, more than being famous, more than falling in love. So I made the choice to become baptized. Immediately afterwards I went to a youth group retreat and made a resolution to read the bible all the way through. As I was reading one night, I came across Ecclesiastes and immediately fell in love. What “the preacher” had to say aligned exactly with my thoughts and feelings. I summarized it in only a few words, “Everything that we can gain under the sun is merely to please our own vanity.” And took to heart the conclusive statement, “This is the end of the matter; all hath been heard: fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man,” –Ecclesiastes 12:13. The final verse of Ecclesiastes (all men must give an account to God, in full) relays me to who I am now. It has become an eternal struggle of mine lately to just be one with Him. But I know this isn't possible because I am nowhere near perfect. Nevertheless, I believe that since God is omnipotent/omnipresent/omniscient... then I shouldn't have to fold my hands and close my eyes in order to talk to him. I’ve made it something of significance to format my prayer routine so that my prayer has no routine or format... so that I can just think, and know that God is with me at each and every moment. So far, it's been great. So many things (temptation, sin, selfishness) are easier to overcome when you think about "shielding" (for lack of a better word) the Holiness of God from the filth that dwells on our depressed planet. It's almost embarrassing to be with him when you’re friend curses, or when violence and hatred reenact their desires through the thoughts and voices of other people, or even when you're watching television and you come across a show that's only true purpose is to satisfy the selfish desires of the viewing audience. I don't know... it's a crazy thought, being so close to God. But I guess you could call me crazy, other people do. I’m proud to say that I have remained steadfast in my beliefs and now more than ever can feel God’s calling in my life.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
ഇമ്മടുരിടി/Maturity
Maturity- I believe it has become something worth noting when it comes to recognizing the values and strengths of individuals in our society. When someone states that a person is very mature, it most likely will be taken as a compliment. Maturity is synonymous with wisdom, and precocious actions that are founded upon open minded thinking and cautious actions. So yes, when someone calls me mature, I most definitely take it as a compliment. But, I also believe that the word Mature refers to a state of being unreachable by human standards. Nobody is mature; maturity is something to stride towards, but never something to conquer. Everyday I am maturing, and from every day on I will continue to mature, until I die. I believe that the quest for maturity/wisdom/pure thinking cannot be grasped, and if we were to grasp it, I believe that we would just as quickly lose it. As humans, we are stuck in a cycle. But the more that we recognize and understand the patterns within the patterns of life, the more easily we will be able to remain at the top of the cycle, instead of the miserable bottom. Although, it is not in our power to do this alone, God grants us his power and wisdom to overcome the cyclical turmoil we find ourselves in everyday. This has become just some of the beauty that I witness in my own faith.
Immaturity- I thank my brother for enlightening me on this subject! I believe that immaturity grants childlike joy. Without the ability to be as joyous and carefree as our offspring, adults become like machines. Machines that were created to function with emotion and the ability to let that emotion effect their choices, but, they are machines that do not possess the WANT to do something spontaneous, to initiate destruction, to be creative and use that creativity to enjoy themselves within their everyday mechanical routine. These machines lack the ability to laugh at themselves, and to laugh in general. So, what I am saying is that we should be like children. But, there exists a time and place for everything, and it could be said that this is maturity. If I am feeling childish, I do not withhold it. If I am in a place that it would be inappropriate, I filter it and funnel it into something that works for me... Some of my most memorable and enjoyable experiences have been my most childish of moments. Our short lives mustn't be wasted on a focus of maturity.
Holy crap, I just made a fool of myself... Well, this is what I believe when it comes to how people use the term in conversation, not the actual meaning. I just did a little research and found that maturity is acting appropriately in a response to a circumstance or environment. In that sense, all of what I had written above could fit into the entire context of the word of maturity. Wow, some other stuff that runs deep= Once maturity is established, there no longer exists a need to reestablish or rehabilitate that maturity. So among friends, maturity becomes moot. Among strangers, maturity reflects the social judgment of others... but entangles oneself in judging another personality. So, the first two paragraphs I wrote are my uneducated ideas about the topic, you will probably see all of it as unnecessary. Psychology never made itself available to me in High-School, danget. I would love to take it.
Immaturity- I thank my brother for enlightening me on this subject! I believe that immaturity grants childlike joy. Without the ability to be as joyous and carefree as our offspring, adults become like machines. Machines that were created to function with emotion and the ability to let that emotion effect their choices, but, they are machines that do not possess the WANT to do something spontaneous, to initiate destruction, to be creative and use that creativity to enjoy themselves within their everyday mechanical routine. These machines lack the ability to laugh at themselves, and to laugh in general. So, what I am saying is that we should be like children. But, there exists a time and place for everything, and it could be said that this is maturity. If I am feeling childish, I do not withhold it. If I am in a place that it would be inappropriate, I filter it and funnel it into something that works for me... Some of my most memorable and enjoyable experiences have been my most childish of moments. Our short lives mustn't be wasted on a focus of maturity.
Holy crap, I just made a fool of myself... Well, this is what I believe when it comes to how people use the term in conversation, not the actual meaning. I just did a little research and found that maturity is acting appropriately in a response to a circumstance or environment. In that sense, all of what I had written above could fit into the entire context of the word of maturity. Wow, some other stuff that runs deep= Once maturity is established, there no longer exists a need to reestablish or rehabilitate that maturity. So among friends, maturity becomes moot. Among strangers, maturity reflects the social judgment of others... but entangles oneself in judging another personality. So, the first two paragraphs I wrote are my uneducated ideas about the topic, you will probably see all of it as unnecessary. Psychology never made itself available to me in High-School, danget. I would love to take it.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sometimes
Sometimes people get too caught up in the complexities of their daily lives. Wake, work, play with an unhealthy accompaniment of too much food and too little sleep.
Sometimes our focus is lost on a current assignment or short term goal assigned to us by someone who was assigned to complete their tasks by someone who was assigned...etc.
Sometimes the cycle we go through blinds us from truths that are presented to us every day.
Sometimes life is meaningful.
Meaning has been granted to us through our own perception of what we may think is meaningful. We decide what is important, we decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives, we decide who to love, who to hate, who to worship. We decide.
Sometimes we make bad decisions.
Our minds remain closed to some very important remnants of the existence we dwell in. For those looking in, they may see an endless parade of power and wealth stomping over the smooth pavement of economic deception.
Sometimes we are lost.
Sometimes I look around, and see everything laid before me.
A fierce blaze of sunlight pierces the billowed clouds and casts shapes of strange beings through shadows strewn across empty islands of grass within deathly empty parking lots. These parking lots have strict laws that abide any car driving upon it to follow lines that were merely painted on. These cars hold people that walk into the buildings and trade in their colored paper for objects that reflect fashion and status. Drawn back away from the parking lots are paths for the cars to travel upon. These paths lead to bigger paths, where these vehicles are able to reach their destination using less time than ever before. I see the edge of a window, closer than expected my pupils attain focus in order to receive enough light to properly observe the object before me. I follow the edge of the window to see a handle. The handle holds a purpose that is upheld by a mechanism created by another mechanism in perfect order. My eyes shift left as I see my hands clenched tight to a circular object.
A red light high above me wavers in the wind then vanishes, only to be replaced by a green light half a foot lower. The sight fascinates me. I hear strange birds cawing and calling, wishing to be heard by any ears available. These birds get louder and louder, until my deranged focus obeys the world and I begin to hear what is really happening. Horns are blaring, people are shouting their flavorful obscenities towards a being they are unfamiliar with. They feel enraged because of the time I am causing them to lose. Again my eyes catch a shift, the once powerful green light vanishes, to be replaced by a dull yellow.
I wait... and slowly let my weight move the solid pedal down as my car lurches forward unknowing of anything except what it is made to do. The light turns red behind me. I am late for work.
I hope I am not fired.
Sometimes our focus is lost on a current assignment or short term goal assigned to us by someone who was assigned to complete their tasks by someone who was assigned...etc.
Sometimes the cycle we go through blinds us from truths that are presented to us every day.
Sometimes life is meaningful.
Meaning has been granted to us through our own perception of what we may think is meaningful. We decide what is important, we decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives, we decide who to love, who to hate, who to worship. We decide.
Sometimes we make bad decisions.
Our minds remain closed to some very important remnants of the existence we dwell in. For those looking in, they may see an endless parade of power and wealth stomping over the smooth pavement of economic deception.
Sometimes we are lost.
Sometimes I look around, and see everything laid before me.
A fierce blaze of sunlight pierces the billowed clouds and casts shapes of strange beings through shadows strewn across empty islands of grass within deathly empty parking lots. These parking lots have strict laws that abide any car driving upon it to follow lines that were merely painted on. These cars hold people that walk into the buildings and trade in their colored paper for objects that reflect fashion and status. Drawn back away from the parking lots are paths for the cars to travel upon. These paths lead to bigger paths, where these vehicles are able to reach their destination using less time than ever before. I see the edge of a window, closer than expected my pupils attain focus in order to receive enough light to properly observe the object before me. I follow the edge of the window to see a handle. The handle holds a purpose that is upheld by a mechanism created by another mechanism in perfect order. My eyes shift left as I see my hands clenched tight to a circular object.
A red light high above me wavers in the wind then vanishes, only to be replaced by a green light half a foot lower. The sight fascinates me. I hear strange birds cawing and calling, wishing to be heard by any ears available. These birds get louder and louder, until my deranged focus obeys the world and I begin to hear what is really happening. Horns are blaring, people are shouting their flavorful obscenities towards a being they are unfamiliar with. They feel enraged because of the time I am causing them to lose. Again my eyes catch a shift, the once powerful green light vanishes, to be replaced by a dull yellow.
I wait... and slowly let my weight move the solid pedal down as my car lurches forward unknowing of anything except what it is made to do. The light turns red behind me. I am late for work.
I hope I am not fired.
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